Who am I again?

Hi and welcome to my very inconsistent blogging life! Today I will again share with you my thoughts and what has been going on with my life, but trust me, this post is the best one yet! (probably not true). I have been on my own again and for some reason this sparks my inner productivity beast that just wants to keep working, this is one of the reasons I’m writing here again, also for another reason I will discuss later. Anyway, I have been busy doing stuff like usual. I wrote a whole Master Thesis, and drove all the way to Rome (I guess all roads lead to Rome after all). Let me share some of my thoughts about that trip with you.

A road to Rome

So yes I am back from a very crazy trip I did during the summer, racking up a total of 6000km driven around Europe! You might think those are a lot of kilometers and you would be right. My girlfriend and I decided it would be a good idea to go all the way down to Rome from Sweden with a car and a tent. And oh boy were we right, it was a great idea! But I would also say that the trip has been very stressful and exhausting. I would say the emphasis is on the exhausting and less on the stressful, it was nice but also I felt the need to always do things, to see the things around me. Why else would you drive 2500km to the south? You would not just go sit on your ass and read a book, or work on finding a job, you would have a look around and see things you’ve never seen before! Or eat the things you’ve never eaten before, or drive to places you’ve never been before. I would say it was an amazing experience, however, the pressure of the low budget and short time frame (we did the whole trip in 3 weeks) was a bit extreme I’d say. We always had a struggle finding cheap camping sites, and never stayed somewhere just to chill and do nothing. For next road trip it would be great if these two variables were a bit higher, so that I don’t get a whiplash afterwards. But with a job coming right up that should not be a problem! (this is a joke I am completely unemployed and don’t know what to do with my life). Actually the thing I just said is also a joke! The don’t know what I’m doing with my life part, the unemployment part is very much true sob. Now that we are already talking about life choices let me tell you a bit more about that.

What I’m doing with my life

So I am moving out! Yes I am moving out of my amazingly big 18m2 apartment in Gothenburg, this is mainly because I now can not afford it. In Sweden we get money for studying, this is how I have been maintaining myself for the past 5 years, wow time flies. And because my studies are now completely done, apart from the one exam I am having in one week, I will move out! So, about the not having a job part, it is very much a struggle to find a job right now. I have probably applied for over 40 jobs now and not managed to get a single offer yet. I don’t know how this could be, I completely thought this would not be a problem, but here I am still jobless, lonely, and sad. (those last two are lies). Anyway I will still be looking for jobs, I will continue throwing out my fishing hook into the vast ocean of jobs out there, and maybe I’ll finally get a recruiter to nibble onto my delicious portfolio, instead of sniffing at it and swimming in the opposite direction. So you might be thinking what will I do instead, what will I do with my time now while I don’t have a boss to work for? Well, I have a plan, a plan that I want to execute to perfection. Writing these kind of blogs is actually part of my plan, it is an ambitious plan but I think I can pull it off.

The Plan

The plan is to be my own boss, to work for myself. The good thing about doing this is that I can do what I want, which is also the most scary part. This is why I need to plan, and I need to plan it well. Everything I do will matter, at least to an extent, I guess that is everything with life, but it feels more extreme if I am the one that decides what to do. Anyway, back to the plan itself, I want to focus on game development. I think this is truly what I aspire to be, a good game developer. For the past week I have been going back to my game project I started what feels like two years ago but is actually two years and a month ago. Anyway if I want to make games for a living I will have to be able to sell the games I am making. This requires two things to be present, firstly, there needs to be a game, secondly, there needs to be an individual who is buying my game, preferably several if I want to make a living out of this. Now I can see two options for me going forward, I either go into my cave, start going at it for 2 years, don’t share any of my work, finally I will upload the game to steam, or google play, and it will get 10 downloads. I’ve got the first part of the equation(the game), but the second part is missing (the kind individuals who are buying my game). The other option is that I go into my cave, share my progress on blog posts, TikTok, Instagram, and interact with people on twitter about my game for 2 years. I’d argue that this second option gives me a better chance of success, because I also work towards acquiring people that want to buy my game. The second option still has the chance that it will get only get 10 downloads, but the chance is less likely if I play my cards right. The thing I’m trying to say is that if I don’t share my work, the harsh truth is that I will not be able to make a living out of it. Maybe after a few years, I will make a game that won’t need any following, but having a community behind you that appreciates you and wants to support you will make the possibility of making a living doing what I love more likely.

Now what?

I will continue developing my game, I will share my progress, I will get my name out there, and I will see what happens. There is not really much to it. I don’t know if it will work, but I can at least try to make it work. You’ll be seeing a lot more of me from now on.

Have a great rest of your day and thanks for reading!